A Sound Like Someone Trying Not To Make a A Sound Like Someone Trying Not To Make a Sound

Tom woke up, but Tim did not.
It was the middle of the night. "Did you hear that?" Tom asked his brother. But Tim was only two. Even when he was awake, he didn't talk much.
Tom woke up his father and asked him, "Did you hear that sound ?"
"What did it sound like ?" his father asked.
"It sounded like a monster with no arms and no legs, but it was trying to move," Tom said.
"How could it move with no arms and no legs ?" his father asked.
"It wriggles, " Tom said. "It slides on its fur."
"Oh, it has fur ?" his father asked.
"It pulls itself along with its teeth," Tom said.
"It has teeth, too !" his father exclaimed.
"I told you - it's a monster !" Tom said.
"But what exactly was the sound that woke you up ?" his father asked.
"It was a sound like in the closet, if one of Mommy's dresses came alive and tried to climb down off the hanger," Tom said.
"Let's go back to your room and listen for the sound," Tom's father said. And there was Tim, still asleep - he still hadn't heard the sound. It was a sound like someone pulling nails out of the floorboards under the bed. It was a sound like a dog trying to open a door. Its mouth was wet, so it couldn't get a good grip on the doorknob, but it wouln't stop trying - eventually the dog would get in, Tom thought. It was a sound like a ghost in the attic, droppping the peanuts it had stolen from the kitchen.
"There's the sound again !" Tom wispered to his father. "Did you hear that ?" This time, Tim woke up, too. It was a sound like something caught inside the headboard of the bed. It was eating its way out - it was gnawing through the wood.
It seemed to Tom that the sound was definately the sound of an armless, legless monster dragging its thick, wet fur. "It's a monster !" Tom cried.
"It's just a mouse, crawling between the walls," his father said.
Tim screamed. He didn't know what a 'mouse' was. It frightened him to think of something with wet, thick fur - and no arms and no legs - crawling between the walls. How did something like that get between the walls anyway ?
But Tom asked his father, "It's just a mouse ?"
His father thumped against the wall with his hand and they listened to the mouse scurrying away. "If it comes back again," he said to Tom and Tim, "just hit the wall."
"A mouse crawling between the walls !" said Tom.
"That's all it was !" He quickly fell asleep, and his father went back to bed and fell asleep, too, but Tim was awake the whole night long, because he didn't know what a mouse was and he wanted to be awake when the thing crawling between the walls came crawling back. Each time he thought he heard the mouse crawling between the walls, Tim hit the wall with his hand and the mouse scurried away - dragging its thick, wet fur and its no arms and no legs with it.
And that is the end of the story.

Marilyn Monroe

She was just like our whole country - not quite young anymore, but not old either; a little breathless, very beautiful, maybe a little stupid, maybe a lot smarter than she seemed. And she was looking for something - I think she wanted to be good. Look at the men in her life - Joe Dimaggio, Arthur Miller , maybe the Kennedys. Look at how good they seem! Look at how desirable she was! That's what she was ; she was desirable. She was funny and sexy - and she was vulnerable, too. She was never quite happy, she was always a little overweight. She was just like our whole country, ... And those men, those famous, powerful men - did they really love her? Did they take care of her? If she was ever with the Kennedys, they couldn't have loved her - they were just using her, they were just being careless and treating themselves to a thrill. That's what powerful men do to this country - it's a beautiful, sexy, breathless country, and powerful men use it to treat themselves to a thrill! They say things to make themselves appear moral. That's what I thought Kennedy was : a moralist. But he was just giving us a snow job, he was just being a good seducer. I thought he was a saviour. I thought he wanted to use his power to do good. But people say and do anything just to get the power; then they'll use the power just to get a thrill. Marilyn Monroe was always looking for the best man - maybe she wanted the man with the most ability to do good. And she was seduced, over and over again - she got fooled, she was tricked, she got used, she was used up. Just like the country. The country wants a saviour. The country is a sucker for powerful men who look good. We think they're moralists and then they just use us. That's what's going to happen to you and me, we're going to be used.

1. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"
4. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
5. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
6. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."
7. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
8. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."
9. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
10. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
11. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
12. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
13. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
14. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
15. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."